Seeing Me.

You know how you expect your life plans to go according to plan? 

And then they don’t?

While reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In, I had to just shake my head and smile. She described this situation where a young woman had come up to her after a talk. This budding young female professional asked about plans for her career based on getting married and having kids. So she could advise correctly, Sandberg dug in a bit by asking some questions only to learn this: the young woman wasn’t engaged. She wasn’t even dating anyone. She was making career decisions based on future events that hadn’t even happened.

I read that book in my 30s and smiled because I was that young female professional in my 20s. I had already achieved my Bachelor of Science in Architectural Studies from the University of Illinois. Check! I was in progress on my Master of Architecture degree from the University of Colorado. Check! I had started my internship. Check! And I was planning that I’d take my architect’s licensing exams as soon as I finished my hours for IDP (Intern Development Program). I wanted to do these things before I got married and had kids. 

Well, at 24 a life event happened that altered my perfect plans. A year later and I was waiting for the court date to testify against the man who had assaulted me. Being the overachiever I am, I was unwilling to let go of the pursuit of my work to complete my Master’s degree. And I wasn’t going to stop my internship that I felt privileged to have.

So there I was. On the surface, a well-put-together young female professional doing cool things like speaking at a national healthcare conference with only two years of experience. Behind the facade I put up, I was really just a moment away from falling apart. 

But for the grace of God, I’m not even sure how I got through it. Much of that time period is still a blur and a bit foggy. Amidst the pain, sorrow, heartache, and juggling act, little rays of sunshine came into my life. They would be known as Mentors.

Looking back, I can’t believe how fortunate I was to have landed my first internship with an architecture firm that supported me during that hardship, and created opportunities for me to learn, grow and thrive. They had a new Mentor Program that allowed me to pair up with a seasoned architect and I felt seen and heard. 

The executive leadership at that firm exuded family values and I didn’t feel alone going through that dark time in my life, even though I kept most people at bay regarding that personal “trial.” (That has to go in quotes because there was a literal trial. And in case you were wondering, yes, the attacker was convicted).

I picked other people to be Mentors and they didn’t know it. One was a peer of mine, a fellow intern in fact. He was a Midwesterner like me, and unless you are one, it’s a whole other article to explain that immediate bond with another Midwesterner. We journeyed through the early career challenges of being “young architects” and what that looked like in the 2000s. Over lunch breaks, we’d discuss difficult questions or flush out ideas and passionately talk about work-life balance while working late on a proposal, as we were the “next-gen” at that time.

An older female architect was also a Mentor. I watched her balance having a family and still having a fulfilling career. I was impressed to learn that she took time off work while her girls were in high school. It is arguably a more challenging time as a teenager and not one in which parents usually take a step back. That inspired me so much. It showed me a different way to look at balancing a “successful” career and family.

Mentoring has been a consistent thread in my career. Not only have I been told I mentor up (to leadership) and down (to peers and interns), but I previously led the successful BRIDGE Mentoring Program started by three colleagues in the architecture industry. That was and still is my favorite thing I did in my architecture career.

So in a full-circle kind of way, I’m touched and honored that my company, RP4C, is launching the REACH Mentoring Program this year. It’s based on a pay it forward model, where Mentors have covered the fee for their Mentee to be part of the program. It’s based on excellence and reaching down to pull up the next generation. 

From an “older” Mentor to the next gen: 

I see you.

You’re going to make it, just like I did.

What has been meant to take you out has actually become the stepping stone to something greater. 

The REACH Mentee Application is live. If you’re able to, please apply!

If you’re not eligible, please share with someone who is.

You may not know the impact of how a simple act of sharing changed the trajectory of someone’s career.