Untangle The Mess of My Career!

As a little girl, there were times I’d think I was this great stylist, but get my hair in such a mess that my mom had to spend time untangling it. Usually, this required me to sit down, allow her to apply some product, and slowly she’d work through the style I had “created.”

When our family would take down the decorations on the Christmas tree, if you weren’t careful, all those colorful lights would be a jumbled mess. And if not dealt with properly, the festivities to deck the tree for next year would be a lot less fun. We’d have to sit down and take the time to untangle the string of lights.

It’s an easy mistake that often happens by accident where our career choices get tossed around like clothes in the dryer. No one chooses to start their career and think, “I hope this goes sideways!” We don’t start a job and say, “I can’t wait to have a toxic boss! I’m glad they lied in the interview process.”

Careers can get jacked up. It feels a little hopeless and not at all fun to have to untangle the mess of the career trajectory we’ve been on. But if you don’t, can you really move forward?

The lights might turn on for the Christmas tree, but when they’re left bunched up, they sure won’t spread the same level of holiday cheer.

Foundational to the success of forward motion is a clear path. See if you recognize yourself in this excerpt from an actual RP4C Client Session.

Brief Backstory: 

The client’s first session happened to be on the same day that he was notified of being laid off. I didn’t learn of it until our session. The excerpt is from the second session where we were diving into the values from his YouMap® Report and uncovering some hard truths. Below is the interruption that occurred during the discovery process because of what was getting untangled.

Coach Michelle: 

There are a couple of things about this that I find intriguing. And I’m going to want to help recalibrate you in these sessions moving forward. There’s a grieving process that I think you’re going to need to participate in because you’ve been unhappy for a long time. 

…I think you’re going to have to forgive yourself that you didn’t move on soon enough. And I think you’re going to have to forgive them that they didn’t meet your expectations. But it's a double-edged sword because you stayed so the things you valued were violated longer and at the same time you weren’t valued [by the company]. 

As you look to the next, we are going to want that you’re energized about your workday at the start of it… that you’re pumped about Monday and it’s like “Monday’s Here! Workday!!” 

That’s going to be an interesting flip. But it’s going to take totally getting on board, getting excited about that. And I’m speaking from having coached enough people and having been in your shoes…

There’s a grieving process when we’re let go.

Do you feel like that you’ve started that or is it still a little raw?”

Client:

No, I’m in the middle of it.

I’m bouncing from thinking this is a great thing and it’s good for me, to being really angry to… being overwhelmed by it. 

Ultimately when it comes down to it, the fact that I was there [for a long time] is my fault. I don’t blame anyone else for that. And I was laid off because of numbers, and so that’s nobody else’s fault either. It’s just the way it is.

So when it comes down to it, I understand that it’s on me and ultimately it’s going to be a good thing.

(This client had a counselor in addition to a Career Coach)

Coach Michelle:

…I love that you have a counselor. I know I can touch on things, but I’m not gifted (nor licensed) to do that. And I’ve had some (prospects) where I had to say, “You’re not ready. You have to get counseling first.” 

I think it’s good. And I would encourage the journaling, the crying, the anger… letting it out.

Did you see the movie they did on Mr. Rogers?

Client:

Yeah.

Coach Michelle:

One of the things that stood out to me was that he did talk about there is a lot of injustice that happens in the world. And there are a lot of things that make us angry. …We should allow it to come out, whether that’s pounding on the piano or doing laps in a pool as fast as you can because you’re exerting the energy for it …(that) you’re letting the anger come out of the body.

Whether you’re grieving job loss, confused about what your next step should be, or feeling as if you’re on the career hamster wheel and needing change, there is one thing in common. 

You have to untangle the mess to see clearly.

The reason I designed a coaching program and process that builds on the foundation of clarity is that without this piece, the rest of it (like the resume and job search strategies) just contributes to the same problem on a different day.

I invite you to: 

Sit down. 

Be still. 

And allow someone to come alongside you to work on the process of smoothing out the things that led you to the here and now.